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Mrs Triplets: 'And how is your concert getting on, Herr Pfeiffer?'
Emininent Violinist: 'Pitiful as far as the programme is concerned – Beethoven – Schumann – Brahms! But the tickets don't sell! Ach! By the way, <rs Triplets, you don't happen to have such a thing as a Musical Infantile Phenomenon about you that you could lend me for the occasion – yes? Concertina! – Piano! – Spoons! – Comb! – anything will please the British public if the performer is under five years old!'